Not Feeling Very Holly Jolly Part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about not feeling very holly jolly and how this year just felt so different. I didn’t know why, it just didn’t feel like the holidays. I figured out why.

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Me VS The Mom I thought I’d Be

It’s no secret I never wanted to be a mom. That also meant I hadn’t given any thought to what I would be like as a mom or the type of mom I wanted to be. I am happy to be a mom and as I became one, I began to envision the mom I wanted to be.


I wanted to be what I saw as the perfect mom. The mom that volunteers at the school. The mom that packs all the cute little healthy Pinterest lunches. The mom that makes all the cute Pinterest crafts. The mom that got down on the floor to play. The mom that played at the park with her kids. The mom that always had a clean house. The mom that never yelled. The mom that had it all together. That was the mom I wanted to be. What I saw as the perfect mom. I just wanted to do a good job.

Boy was I wrong. What I had envisioned I would be like as a mom was so wrong. It’s exhausting keeping up with all those things all the time. I took what worked for other people and put that on myself. That’s not who I am. I took this vision I had of what other moms were doing and put it on myself. I felt like I had to be that mom. What I didn’t realize was that I’m not made to be that mom because I am me, not them. My life is different than theirs.


The mom I am looks more like this. I yell at my kids. Not all the time, but when it’s needed, such as when I tell them repeatedly to do something and they don’t. I have and do get on the floor and play with them when I have time. I’m a lot busier than I thought I’d be. They’re older not and don’t want to play as much. I do volunteer at my kids schools when I can. It’s not as fun as I thought it’d be though and somedays I really don’t want to go. Crafts aren’t my thing. If my kids really wanted to do it, I’ll try, but I hate it. I pack my daughters lunch, but it’s not even close to cute Dinosaur sandwiches and fruit shapes. She gets whatever we have in the fridge. I am like a big kid so I will always play on the playground at the parks with them, even when they don’t want me to. I clean almost everyday, but my house is not spotless and never will be.

I’m not the mom I thought I’d be. Does that make me a bad mom? Nope. The mom you are has everything to do with who you are and who your kids are. What other parents do has nothing to do with whether you’re a good mom or not. Don’t let the expectations set by other parents, Pinterest, and society make you feel any less than. You are an amazing mom whether you do all the things or don’t. Never forget that.

I Can’t Wait For….

Motherhood is the greatest, hardest, and most unpredictable journey I’ve ever been on. I wish I could say I didn’t have regrets, but I do. I’m only human. We all have regrets from time to time. My biggest regret is waiting and wanting the moments I now wish would last forever.

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Keep Going You Got This

Inspiration comes from everywhere. Yesterday while talking to a friend on the phone I was inspired to write this. Many of the struggles people face we don’t see. Going through your day suffering through anxiety, depression, grief, etc. You put a smile on your face and people have no idea what you are going through. Now think about all the people you see or pass everyday. What are they going through.

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Not Feeling Very Holly Jolly

It’s that time of year. Holiday season. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. One holiday after another. Mass amounts of cooking, shopping, and family time. Killing ourselves to make everything perfect. Wrapping endless amounts of presents. Coming up with ideas for the elf on the shelf. Watching our kids light up as the holidays come and go waiting for Christmas morning. The busiest time of the year. The most stressful time of the year.

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I Miss The Pre-Pandemic Days

I was sitting here just reminiscing about the good days. The pre-pandemic days. The repetitive days. Doing the same things day in and day out without even thinking. It was like when you’re driving and suddenly you’re home. You know you drove yourself, but you do it so often you don’t remember the drive itself. I miss those days.

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Words Are Powerful

Words. They let us express ourselves. They let us voice our opinions. They let us tell people how much we love them. They let us talk to people about anything and everything. Our first word is celebrated and our last word is never forgotten. Words are powerful.

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Self Care With An Emphasis On Self

Self care looks different and means something different for everyone. Despite what everyone says, self care is what you make it. It’s taking care of yourself however that may be so that you can be the best you you can be. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. Your family needs you to take care of you.

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Putting Down My Phone

My phone has taken over my life. It is constantly going off and I’m constantly on it. It has become a real problem and things needed to change.

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Teach Kindness

Today is World Kindness Day. It’s a global day dedicated to promoting the importance of being kind to each other, yourself, and to the world. Kindness is an important and unifying human principle. It is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. It comes in many, many forms, and it is our job as parents to teach our children kindness.

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