One morning while taking my son to school he turned to me and said, “You and dad fight about the weirdest stuff.” What? That was totally random. What did he even mean by that? Tom and I rarely fight anymore. Not like fighting is a bad thing. It’s inevitable in any relationship and can actually bring people closer when done productively.

Let’s be honest here – back to school rocks, but back to school shopping sucks. I love my kids more than anything, I really do and I know I’ll miss them. But the thought of a quiet, clean house sounds like a vacation right about now. We survived 3 months of attitudes, eye rolls, and fighting. We’re so ready. We deserve this. No shame in admitting you can’t wait for those kids to go back to school. The back to school shopping though blows. I’d rather step on a thousand legos.

Do you ever meet a mom and instantly become envious? Everything about her gives you mom envy. The way she’s always on top of her game getting her kids to school on time and with healthy home lunches. The way her house is always clean and beautifully decorated like a page out of a magazine. The way she’s always dressed so nice and always put together even when you just randomly show up at her house. The way her kids are always dressed so nice and well behaved. Everything about her makes you envious and you want to be her. Yeah….I’m not THAT mom.

I don’t know when or why being weird became a bad thing. People use it as an insult all the time. If someone doesn’t like something about you, you’re automatically labelled and put into this little box created by society that’s labelled “weird” because you don’t fit into the societal norm created by who knows who that dictates how we should be. Society has deemed being weird as unacceptable. Being weird isn’t a bad thing. It’s not something to be ashamed of or hide from. Let your weirdness shine bright.

John and I met in early 2000 in Pocatello, Idaho when his friend was dating my sister. We went to a Valentine’s Day dance together and have been together since. We married in 2002 and had our first child in 2007, a daughter named Samantha. My pregnancy with Samantha wasn’t an easy one. I was overweight, had high blood pressure, and had recently moved to Bosnia for John’s PCS. At 36 weeks pregnant I was sent to live at the Air Force base in Aviano Italy. I was admitted into the hospital on Valentine’s Day due to preeclampsia. I was thinking, “This is such crap. What kind of cliché’ is happening right now?” They put me on Pitocin for 3 days, which I found out later was 3 days too long. Finally, she was born on the 17th. Four weeks later we finally got to head home to Sarajevo Bosnia.

Tell us a little about yourself.

My name is Rayn. I’m 23 years old (24 this year)! I’ve been happily married for 3 1/2 years, but we’ve been together for 7 years. I have a beautiful 4 year old, a pain in the butt almost 2 year old bulldog, and a handsome 2 month old son.

Postpartum Depression is classified as a mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth. It affects 15% of births or roughly 3 million cases in the U.S. yearly. Postpartum Depression is not to be confused with ‘Baby Blues’ – which is a term used to describe the feeling of worry, unhappiness, and fatigue that many women experience after having a baby. This usually lasts only a week or two and goes away on its own. Postpartum Depression however, can start anytime before or after birth and last for months or even years. Postpartum Depression isn’t caused my something a mother does or doesn’t do, but rather a combination of physical and emotional factors.

My child’s weight isn’t your concern, your business, or have anything to do with you, so stop acting like it does. We see your stares, hear your whispers, and we’re tired of it. It’s time I speak out against it.

There’s many things in life I haven’t figured out yet and grieving is definitely on the top of that list. I experienced my first significant loss in 2014, I was 25. I cried, I begged to have my grandpa back, it was rough. It’s wasn’t completely unexpected though, so I think that made it slightly easier to deal with. My kids were smaller then and didn’t seem to understand. Then in 2017 we were suddenly hit with back to back losses a little over a month apart. I was devastated. Our entire family was grieving the loss of two grandmas and it was so rough. My kids even then didn’t quite understand. There was tears and sadness, laughs, and memories shared. They handled it much better than I did.