I moved out of my hometown 10 years ago. I didn’t go far, just a town over, a short 15-20 minute drive. I didn’t want to go too far from my family, but my husbands work had plans to move so the drive would be closer for him. When we moved I did my best to keep in touch with everyone. I messaged when I knew I was going to be in town and I messaged when I was in town unexpectedly. When I stopped, the phones were dead. No text messages, no phone calls, nothing. Friendships ended.
As it turns out, the friendships were one sided. I was the one putting in all the effort. I was the one wanting to hang out, get lunch, just visit. It was a hard pill to swallow realizing once I stopped reaching out, everything stopped. How long was I giving so much of myself and getting the bare minimum in return? How long ago had to friendship ended and I never realized it? That’s a fault on my part. I should have paid more attention. Out of sight, out of mind right? Don’t make the same mistakes I did, stop chasing people.
If someone stops calling you or texting you, they’re cutting off communication. Why? We don’t always get to know why and it’s not always something you did. If someone starts ignoring you, your calls, text messages, etc. it’s not always something you did. That’s on them and it’s their loss. If they unfriend you or block you on social media, let them go. Whatever the reason for any of the above, let them go. You can’t be the only one putting in the effort. You can’t be the only one keeping the friendship or relationship alive. You are giving too much of yourself and it’s exhausting. You need to do what’s best for you, even if that means letting the friendship or relationship fizzle out. It won’t be easy, but you have to do it for you.
We spend too much time exhausting ourselves to prove our worth and keep our friendships and relationships alive. Putting in all the effort and getting nothing in return. You deserve people that want to call or text you. You deserve people that want to hang out with you at home, get lunch or coffee, or just chat. You deserve people that want your company, to hear your voice, see life updates on social media. You deserve people that make time for you because you’re important enough in their life to make the time. No one is too busy all the time to call back, text back, or make time to see you. Don’t settle for less than you deserve or someone full of constant excuses. You deserve to not have to beg people to be in your life or be apart of your life.
You will run into people in your life that require a bit more of your time because they do have crazy busy lives. They may struggle with their mental health and forget to text you back or just not have the energy. I’m guilty of being that person. Or the people that read your message, set their phone down to do something and forget to message you back. I’m guilty of this too. You’ll know these people because you’ve seen the crazy chaos they thrive in. You will see they have good intentions and that the relationship isn’t one sided, they just have their own schedule. Then you’ll run into people in your life that just naturally gravitate towards you. They want to be in your life no matter what. They always show up, they always call, they always text. They want nothing more than to be involved in your life. They celebrate the ups, the downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly. They are the really special people. The people that deserve all your time, effort, and love. They’re the special in it for life people.
Always remember your worth. Always remember you don’t have to fight for anyone’s love, affection, attention, or effort. Always remember you deserve the best and you don’t have to exhaust yourself to hold a friendship or relationship. Don’t forget some people are super busy or struggle with their mental health. Don’t count those people out, they are doing the best they can. Do better for yourself. Put yourself first. Put in the effort only where the effort is required. You have nothing to prove to anyone and no time for chasing people. Stop chasing people when they don’t deserve you.
Sassy Mamaroo 