For as long as I can remember every story has a good guy and a bad guy. Ariel and Ursula. The 3 little pigs and the big bad wolf. Simba and Scar. Alladin and Jafar. Alice and the queen of hearts. You see what I mean? There was always a bad guy. Today I realized I might be the bad guy.
Okay so I’m not the bad guy all the time, but I’m definitely the bad guy. Every family has a somewhat similar dynamic – one parent that says yes to everything all the time and one parent that has to be reasonable and realistic saying no sometimes. The parent that says no is the bad guy. That’s me, the parent that says no. The bad guy. The parent that the kids avoid going to. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is an amazing dad, but he’s also the yes dad. The go ask your mom dad. The I don’t care which obviously means yes dad. They ask a million questions a day and he’s tired, I get that. Sometimes kids are exhausting and parents don’t get a break.
Me though. I’m mom. The bad guy. The one that says yes when it’s reasonable. The one that’s says no when I need to. The one that has to cancel plans made when something comes up or dad forgets about a birthday party we are suppose to go to. I’m the no snack right before dinner bad guy. The no dessert after dinner because you had some candy earlier bad guy. The no we can’t go swimming today because you have a doctor and dentist appointment bad guy. I’m the no mom. The we have rules mom.
Does saying no make me the bad guy? In my book no, but thats a different story for my kids. All they think is mom always says no. Mom is no fun. Mom never let’s us do anything. Mom is the bad guy because she sets rules, sticks to them, and says no. What they don’t understand is we have rules for a reason. They are there to protect them, keep them safe, and keep them in line. You can’t live off junk food and candy. You can’t stay up all night and sleep all day. Mom just wants what’s best for you. She wants you happy, healthy, and thriving in life. That means setting rules to make you a responsible, healthy little human that will grow and be the best person you can be. They’ll see one day when they grow up. Until then I will be the bad guy.
Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Don’t be afraid to be the bad guy. Set rules, stick with them, and raise your kids right. They may not always like you for it, but they’ll thank you later. You are doing a great job mama, never forget that.