She Doesn’t Remember

Wow life has just been going on full force over here. I’m working full time for the first time in what feels like forever, while also juggling Sassy Mamaroo, a part time job, mom life, and my wifely duties. It feels like there is never enough time in a day to get done what I need and never enough time to sleep. I’m always tired, but we’re adjusting to our new daily lives.

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My kids are getting out of school for the summer this week, which will definitely help ease some of the craziness. When I had decided to go back to work I hadn’t taken into consideration how it would overall affect everyone and everything. All I thought about was getting a babysitter for the one day we needed it, which one of us would be taking the kids to school on which days, and keeping up with my 2 other jobs. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about my kids during the process, I just didn’t think about how they would be affected. My son is fine with it. He doesn’t care about much other than video games and school ending. My daughter on the other hand is having a harder time.

You see she was 4 when I decided to stay home. I’ve been home ever since. She doesn’t remember me working. She has no memories of me not being here or wherever she needed me to be when she needed me. Any time she needed me I was there without hesitation. I was even there when she didn’t need or want me there. Not just at home, but at the school. I was at all the award assemblies, field trips, after school programs, and even in the hallway volunteering. Now I’m only home 3 days a week. The other days I’m sleeping until I have to go back to work. That’s a lot of change. The last year has been full of change.

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Covid came in with a bang changing the way the kids went to school. Even the last few months being back in school, nothing was the way it was before. Now I’m working and not here when she needs me. She is a sensitive soul. She cries if I leave without saying goodbye and giving her a kiss. She sleeps on my side of the bed so that when I get home and wake her up she can give me a hug and a kiss and tell me how much she misses me. I call her on my breaks when I can and never leave without a proper goodbye. I know working is what’s best right now and I hope she can learn to see that. Adjusting has been hard. I never expected it to be easy, but I didn’t expect this. We are taking it one day at a time and doing the best we can.

Published by Ky

I'm a mom of 2 beautiful kiddos. I love to write and was inspired by a close friend to interview moms and share the good, the bad, and the ugly of motherhood. Email us to share your good, bad, sad, inspiring, or funny story. You may just be featured on our blog and Facebook page.

2 thoughts on “She Doesn’t Remember

  1. I remember going through what you are going through so well, when I left nursing to stay home with my daughter, to care for my mom w/dementia and my disabled husband. It’s so hard either way. At least you are keeping yourself in the work world. You never know in life what might happen, especially as one gets older. After being out so long, it’s hard to get rehired…that’s the other side of the coin. I wish you all the best managing all this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Her struggling is making it harder for me because now I don’t want to go to work, but I know it’s a good thing. She understands, but she doesn’t like it, yet. We are all adjusting to so much and taking it one day at a time.

      Liked by 1 person

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