I think sometimes we live in a world where people get so set in their ways that they refuse to see things any other way. It comes in many forms and sometimes that means the best of people get hurt in the process. Don’t take it personally and know that it’s not you, it’s them. Don’t let people destroy you for anything you are or do.
People are constantly changing, evolving, and growing. I’ve mentioned this multiple times before. It can look like so many things and happen in so many ways. Sometimes that means losing people. Friendships, relationships, family members. You have to let people go for many reasons and it sucks. You and that friend may have grown apart so much that the friendship doesn’t work anymore or they’re stunting your growth as a person. Cut them loose. That relationship you worked so hard to be in a good place in doesn’t work anymore, you’ve grown apart and you’ve been on different levels for a while now. Cut them loose. That family member that constantly talks about how you’ve changed and they ‘don’t know you anymore’ has become toxic. Cut them loose.
We live in a world where people really believe people can’t change and it’s ridiculous. I’ve seen it so much lately. She used to be a drug addict, so once a drug addict always a drug addict. He used to bully me in school, so once a bully always a bully. She likes to laugh and talk about her friends behind their backs, so once a backstabber always a backstabber. She did this to me so I don’t like her, which means you can’t can’t like her. Insert whatever person and whatever thing they did or have done and use it as a reason why they ‘can’t’ ever change. People literally hold any mistake you’ve ever made or thing you’ve ever done over your head and use it as the one thing that defines you. Do you see how wrong that thinking is?
What if just for a second you took a moment to see it from the other side. See how hard that girl has worked to overcome her drug addiction. How many days are rough and she wants to use, but instead she reaches our to a friend. The work she puts in every second of every day to keep her sobriety. Or the guy that used to bully you in school. See how terrible he feels about the things he did or said. How much he hates himself for how he acted. How his understanding of his actions has changed and he wishes he could go back and change everything. Or how the girl that used to laugh and talk about her friends behind their backs understands the gravity of what she was doing. How she’s standing up for people now and shutting it down so others don’t get hurt. How she’s worked hard every day to change that behavior and she hates herself for what she did.
We are only human. We’ve all made mistakes. We regret some of the things we’ve done. We wish we could take it back, but it happened and now we have to live with it. The best thing we can do is realize the behaviors within ourselves tat are harmful to ourselves and/or others and work to correct those. Change and become better people. Work everyday to be the best we can be and know that our past mistakes do not define who we are as a person, friend, etc. We are better than the mistakes we have made. We’ve lived and we’ve learned.
People should be held accountable for their actions, for the mistakes they have made, but it shouldn’t define them. People are capable of change and outgrowing their bad behaviors. Even myself, if you knew me even 2 years ago, you don’t know me now. Stop holding past mistakes over people’s heads. Stop thinking that people aren’t capable of changing. Our lives, experiences, mistakes, lessons learned all cause us to change and change for the better. Don’t feel bad for changing and outgrowing people or things in your life. We know you’re only human and doing the best you can. Keep doing you.