The crazy thing about growth is that it happens over time, but you don’t always notice it. The one day you notice it. Things are different, you’re different. It’s not a bad thing, it just happens. You will experience growth throughout every aspect of your life and within yourself. Recently I’ve noticed my own growth.
A week or so ago we were running late for school. Usually I’m very ‘let’s go, let’s go, we’re late, everyone in the car now.’ Running late makes me anxious, flustered, and mad. Family functions are a different story. I hate running late. As the time ticked away and I knew we were going to be late, I remained calm. This was a first for me. Are we going to be late? Yes. Is it a big deal? No. As my daughter began to panic, emulating everything I’ve ever done, I told her not to worry. We took a few deep breaths, finished breakfast, and we were on our way.
You see, the last year has been crazy. The school routine is still unfamiliar to us. We haven’t had to get up super early, shower, eat, and collect our things to be out the door in so long. It’s okay we were running late, after all no one is perfect. The last thing I wanted was my daughter anxious and frustrated that we were running late. This was unfamiliar to me, to be so calm, cool, and collected in a time I once would never be. It felt great. I felt like I could set a better example for my kids.
More recently I set a list of projects I wanted and planned to finish over Spring Break. A list of things I’ve put off or never got around to finishing or starting. I like to attempt that list during Spring Break because there’s no schedule. No running from school to school to drop off or pick up kids. No doctor, dentist, or orthodontist appointments to keep track of (yes that’s intentional). Just an entire week at home to get some spring cleaning and projects finished. As Spring Break comes to a close, I haven’t got anything done. Not a single thing on my list has been completed or ever thought about and I’m okay with that.
You see, I’m a very goal driven person. I like to set my goals and do everything I can to complete them in the time I’ve given myself. I feel so accomplished when I complete what I set out to do. I’m very hard on myself when I don’t meet my goals. Like really hard on myself. What I’ve learned over time, is that there isn’t a time limit on goals. Goals are meant to be set, but not necessarily have a time limit. They come in all different shapes and sizes. Some take longer than others to complete. This was a shock to me, that I set out to complete this list and meet my goals, but that I didn’t care. I know I will get everything done in time and that’s okay.
Maybe these seem like small things, but to me they are everything. It’s a sign of my growth as a mother and as a person. It’s knowing I’ve grown more patient. I’ve relaxed. I’ve stopped letting the little things get to me. I’ve stopped stressing about the small stuff. I’ve accepted I’m not perfect. I’ve accepted my flaws. I’ve realized it’s about completing the goal, not the time set for the goal. I’ve learned not to put a time limit on goals. I’ve learned that I am becoming a better me and I’m here for it. I love the growth I’m going through no matter how big or small. I’m fully embracing it.
Sassy Mamaroo 