Today is day 30 of my 30 day challenge I set for myself. Boy was my rough draft really a rough draft. If you haven’t read it yet, you can read it here. I learned a lot the last 30 days and have redefined my challenge ‘guidelines.’ I didn’t really know what I needed until I started and I have decided to continue into a 60 day challenge.
I had basically jotted down a few things and ran with it. I had lost myself over the last year, but wasn’t sure how to get myself back. One thing I knew for sure was that I feel better when I do certain things, like putting on makeup and getting dressed up. I think that makes most of us feel better. The idea was to do the things that make me feel better and see what happens. To get back to being me and feeling like me. Being at home took it’s toll. I basically live in sweatpants, my hair is always up in a bun, I rarely wear makeup, I have essentially become lazy.
I’m not saying wearing sweatpants, your hair in a bun, or not wearing makeup is lazy. What I’m saying is that was not the norm for me and it had become such an everyday thing that it became a problem for me. I did my makeup almost everyday, only wore sweatpants at night to go to bed, and wore my hair in a bun a couple times a week. It became a problem to me because I felt like I quit taking care of myself and that needed to change. Here’s a look at the last 30 days.
Of those 30 days, only 7 were spent wearing makeup. I thought by putting on makeup I would get a boost in confidence and somehow magically feel more like myself. That wasn’t the case. At first I felt good because I looked good, but that didn’t last long. I didn’t need makeup to feel good. What I needed was to stop tearing myself down for not wearing makeup. To quit looking in the mirror and feeling disgusted by my looks. I’m beautiful without makeup.
Of those 30 days, 13 were spent by getting up early and getting my butt to work on whatever I had to do that day. It didn’t matter if that was cleaning the house or working, I needed to quit being so lazy in the morning. I have this tendency to get up and just laze around until I realize how late in the day it is and get to work. I thought by getting up early and getting to work, I could be more productive. That did indeed work, but I found out I do need that me time in the morning to get my creative juices working.
Of those 30 days, 20 were spent taking breaks when I needed to. I tend to work myself to the bone. When I get an idea or need to do something that I’ve put off, I tend to dive head first into it no matter what. Even if that means not sleeping, eating, or stopping until I achieve what I want to. I know taking breaks is healthy and I need to take more to put myself first. It shouldn’t be all work and no play. It worked. I kept up with more things that I needed and wanted to do and didn’t sacrifice sleep or eating to do them. I took breaks when I needed to and got back to it when I felt refreshed and ready.
Of those 30 days, 15 were spent taking me time and making myself a priority. I’m not talking about 5-10 minutes to myself, I’m talking taking the day to put me first. Whether that was not cleaning for the day or not working or whatever. I put me first and did what I wanted to do. I needed to feel like I was more than just a mom, a maid, or working all the time. I needed to sit down and enjoy a movie or play some video games and just not worry about the things not getting done. I needed to take a break.
The last 30 days, I didn’t do great. I didn’t even pick up that book I wanted to finish reading. I didn’t say no when I needed to. I had it all wrong. I didn’t know what I needed to find myself and get back to me. All I knew was that taking care of myself and making myself a priority always helped my mental health, so maybe it could help me get back to the me I was. Am I doing better? Yes, a little bit, but I have more work to do. I realize now what I need and how I can get back to where I was a year ago.
The ‘guidelines’ have been redefined. They have been worked to fit into what my end goal is and I will keep going. I will continue with my challenge and see where the next 30 days take me. Stay tuned for updates on how the 60 day challenge is going.
Sassy Mamaroo 