March 7th 2006 my water broke. It was a flurry of emotions. I was terrified, excited, scared, happy, sad. My hormones were all over the place and I was to young to fully understand all that I was about to go through. Checking into the hospital made it real. I was having a baby, now today. A mere 8 hours later at 5:03 AM my baby boy was born. This sweet precious chubby face. I did it. I had my baby.
In the blink of an eye he was 1. We had many smiles. Many long nights. Many days of chasing him around as he began to crawl and then walk. Lots of laughs and loads of tears. It was the longest, yet shortest year of my life. This adorable bald beautiful blue eyed baby now had a full head of blonde hair. Those chubby legs and little fat feet. He was the happiest of little boys. Always playing with his cars or chasing around his ball. It went by way too fast.
In the blink of an eye he was 5. He had the most amazing goofy smile he loved to flash around and the most contagious laugh. Every time you heard it you couldn’t help but laugh too. A room full of toys and an adventurous spirit. There was never a dull day. Always climbing on rocks, trees, play structures. Always giving me a heart attack with his dare devil ways. Always full of love and energy. He loved to play with his hot wheels and swim in the pool.
In the blink of an eye he was 10. That beautiful blonde hair began to fade to a dirty blonde. The days of I love yous and hugs with mom were behind us. He’s too old for that now. His days are filled with riding his bike and playing with friends. He grew up so fast. He learned so much in the last 10 years and gave up so much in the last 10 years. I wasn’t his one and only anymore. I was just the embarrassing mom he didn’t want around. He kept that adventurous spirit and his dare devil ways. Constantly keeping me on my toes and worried about him getting hurt.
In the blink of an eye he was 15. His hair is no longer vibrant blonde. He towers over me at almost 6 feet tall. Gone are so many of the little moments I cherished so much. No more I love yous, hugs, or special mother son moments. Now I’m annoying for asking him to do chores or embarrassing because I volunteer at the school. His days are full of spending time with friends or playing video games. He is still that little dare devil he was from day one. Climbing trees, rocks, anything he can when he can.
It’s so easy to focus on all the little moments that are long gone and seem so far behind us, but there are so many moment left. Now I get to teach him how to drive. Honestly that’s terrifying to me, to teach him to drive and send him off into the world behind the wheel alone. We can’t control what other people do behind the wheel, but will he be prepared enough for anything? I get to prepare him for the real world and leaving home. Having his first job. Learning to cook. Being responsible with money. All the big things that will make him successful in adulthood.
Although the I love yous are far and few between and he finds me embarrassing, I know he loves me. I’m so incredibly impressed by the man he is becoming. He has grown and learned everything beyond my expectations. He is smart, talented, strong, brave, creative, and kind. He never fails to amaze me with the amazing person he is. Although we don’t have the bond we used to have, I know we will always be close. I look forward to seeing him become the man he’s on the path to be and seeing where life takes him.
In the blink of an eye, it happens so fast. One minute you’re changing a diaper and caring for an infant, the next you’re sending them off to school and taking the training wheels off their bike. One minute you’re kissing a boo boo, the next you’re standing by watching as they take care of it themselves. One minute you’re making a snack for a hungry toddler, the next they’re making it for themselves. Kids grow up so fast. It doesn’t matter how much you live in the moment, you can’t slow it down. It doesn’t matter how much you embrace it, it never gets easier. On to the next chapter in life.