Technically the definition for happy is feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. That’s subjective. Being happy or having happiness looks different for everyone. It’s interpreted different for everyone. Some can be happy for many reasons both big and small whereas others won’t find happiness in those moments and vice versa. It is what it is.
I’m a people pleaser. Essentially what that means is I’m a person that tries to make other people happy. Sometimes that comes with putting my own happiness on the side line to help others. Sometimes that comes with finding happiness myself. Sometimes that means making friends and sometimes that means making enemies. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
Being a people pleaser is a blessing in that you get to help people however that may look. Sometimes it’s watching their kids so they can go to an interview, go to work, or simply because they need a break. Sometimes it’s picking up something from the grocery store so they don’t have to make the trip themselves. Sometimes it’s simply dropping off a coffee in the morning. Or loaning someone money until payday. There are so many things you can do to bring someone happiness or be a people pleaser.
But it’s also a curse. Being a people pleaser is a curse in that sometimes people take advantage of you. They see the good within you and know you won’t say no. They will ask and ask and ask until you can’t take it anymore and stop. Then you are labelled the bad guy. Why? Because you stopped doing everything for them. There’s also the fact that you end up putting your own happiness on the side line to appease others. There’s really no winning. Everything has it’s positives and negatives right?
Being a people pleaser myself, I’ve learned so much. The biggest is that you can’t make everyone happy. And you shouldn’t be expected to. The only person you are responsible for making happy is yourself. Being a people pleaser isn’t a bad thing. It makes you an exceptional person. You have to learn to pick and choose who to help though. Not everyone will appreciate everything you do. Not everyone will end up taking advantage of you. There are decent people out there, not everyone will be bad. But figuring our who is the hard part.
Put yourself and your own happiness first. That won’t make you a bad person. Your happiness should be the most important thing. You can’t make everyone happy and you shouldn’t be expected to. Trying to tackle everyone’s problems and make everyone else happy isn’t good for you or your mental health. Put yourself first. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Say no when you need to. Sometimes people just don’t want to be happy. That’s not on you. Stop feeling bad when you can’t make others happy. That’s not on you.