The crazy thing about women is how strong they are. I’m not talking having a baby strong, I’m talking the weight of the world on their shoulders strong. They can look you straight in the face and tell you everything is okay while they are on the verge of a complete breakdown because they have held it together for too long. It’s a little bit terrifying and yet incredibly beautiful. The strength of a woman to wear the weight of the world and still smile in the presence of people. I know because I am her.
I hated that about myself forever. I didn’t understand why it had to happen and usually at the worst times possible. Completely breaking down and bawling my eyes out to build myself up again. I feel weak. Powerless. Defeated. In these moments my emotions can completely take over and I have no control. I will sit and cry until I can’t cry anymore. I hate feeling this way and getting to that point. Afterwards I always feel better. Powerful, strong. Like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. It is the best feeling. I realized I need that breakdown to feel better again.
Recently I saw a post on social media a friend wrote. She was apologizing for breaking down. She literally felt like she had to apologize to her friends and family because her life has been rough lately and she had a breakdown. The breakdown she needed to build herself back up and come out stronger because of it. It broke my heart. I know how that feels and I would never wish that on anyone. Never apologize for breaking down. Sometimes life gets overwhelming and the weight of the world becomes too much, breaking down may be the only way you can handle it. That’s okay.
Breaking down is not a sign of weakness as many people believe. It’s a sign you have held it together for far too long and now your body needs to cleanse itself. That means crying your eyes out what feels like out of nowhere. Relinquishing yourself of all the stresses, anger, and weight of everything in your life. Allowing yourself to essentially grieve in a way. When you are done, the weight of the world is lifted. The stress, anger, and pain you feel are gone. You are now refreshed and ready to take on the world. You are stronger than ever before.
Life is crazy. People deal with relationships, marriages, losses, work, kids, and so much more. They literally wear the weight of the world on their shoulders, their world. They pile on one stressor after another until they can’t take it anymore. That’s when the breakdown happens. Like a ticking time bomb anything can set it off. Spilling your coffee, someone cutting you off in traffic, your kids’ tantrum. It’s not about those things, it never is. It’s about losing hours at work and stressing about paying the bills on top of your car breaking down along with one sick kid and another that is failing classes. Everything that’s happened and piled up since your last breakdown, whether it was a week, a month, or a year ago.
Life looks a little different after a breakdown. That weight you didn’t realize you were carrying around with you is suddenly lifted. You feel empowered, strong, unstoppable. You walk a little lighter. You laugh at the smallest things. You dance a little more. You find yourself smiling more. You are happy to have relinquished everything. Now you are stronger. You have survived what life piled on you and you are no longer standing under that cloud. The sun is shining on you and you are fearless. You can conquer anything and everything. You have cleansed your soul and now you are free.
Life is messy, crazy, and stressful. It tests us on levels we didn’t even know existed. Sometimes we breakdown and that’s okay. We cleanse our souls, relinquish the weight of the world, and put ourselves back together again. When we breakdown we are at our strongest. We are fighting to let go of everything. Stop and let it out. Cry. Scream. Smash some dishes. Rage clean. Whatever is needed for you to process your life, then emerge from the ashes as the brave, strong goddess you are and conquer the world. Emotions are meant to be felt and let out. Never apologize for being human, being a woman.