Today I held my daughter while she cried. Today she stopped being strong and let herself completely breakdown. Today she needed her mama to just hug her and listen. Today she was so broken all she could do was cry. Today she felt defeated. Today she let it all out so tomorrow she can be stronger.
This week has been really hard for my daughter and it’s only Wednesday. What’s been building and building for months finally collapsed. These kids are only third graders, a mere 8 and 9 years old. They’re ruthless in their drama, name calling, and bullying. My daughter is a lot like me. She’s a people pleaser and walks on eggshells as to not disappoint anyone. She goes above and beyond to make others happy. She’s slowly learning how to put herself first. Not only is she a people pleaser, but she’s also an empath. She feels and absorbs others feelings and emotions. She hasn’t learned how to deal with that yet.
Over the last few months my daughter has dealt with quite a bit. Just when we finally thought the situation with her bully was squared away, their parent, who happens to work at the school is giving us problems. They’ve told my daughter she is lazy and claims she doesn’t even try. They have also hit my daughter in the face with a basketball not once, but twice. How sad a school staff member would act in such a way. “Friends” have stolen food from her lunch. Taunted her with their candy, cookies, etc. because they think it’s funny and I don’t pack that stuff in her lunch. Called her names and told her she was a bad friend. All these things over time have built up. No one could deal with this and remain strong.
Monday when I picked up my daughter from school there was talk of Valentines Day. Some of the kids in her class were asking other kids to be their valentine. Apparently that’s a big deal now. Henry* had asked a girl, Kyndra*, to be his valentine. Kyndra didn’t answer him, but told my daughter and another girl she didn’t want to be valentines with Henry because she liked Allen*. There was also talk of whether or not anyone would ask her and what it meant to have a valentine at this age. I told her that it meant they were just friends and I didn’t know if anyone would ask her.
Tuesday the valentines talk continued. Kyndra told Henry no because she wanted to be valentines with Allen. Henry then asked my daughter to be his valentine, she said yes. His friend Luke* then asked Brittany* to be his valentine, she said yes. Henry told Kyndra at least someone appreciated him and wants to be his valentine. Later that day Allen asked Kyndra to be his valentine and she said yes. They all had valentines. My daughter was with Henry, Luke was with Brittany, and Allen was with Kyndra. All was right with the world. Nope!
Today the valentines talk continued. My daughter had got into the car visibly upset. I asked her what was wrong. She told me Luke didn’t want to be valentines with Brittany anymore. He never wanted a valentine, but felt pressured because Henry is his friend. My daughter felt bad, so she told Henry she didn’t want to be valentines. Later at recess my daughter was playing with Allen. They were talking about Fortnite. Kyndra got mad and yelled at her accusing her of trying to steal her valentine. My daughter and Allen are just friends and they were just talking about video games. Chloe* then sided with Kyndra and told my daughter she didn’t want to be friends anymore. Brittany also sided with Kyndra and none of them wanted to be her friend anymore.
Petty drama that’s a waste of time right? I think the same, but it doesn’t feel like that when you’re 8. She lost 3 friends today over this drama. She was left feeling like she did something wrong all because she’s friends with Allen. None of the other girls play video games and we are a family of gamers, so gaming is her life. This whole situation blew up and it’s honestly ridiculous, but it doesn’t feel that way when you’re 8. My daughter couldn’t be strong anymore and broke down. Valuable lessons were learned today. Friends will come and go, but true friends will stay by your side no matter what. Sometimes people don’t side with you and that’s okay. None of this matters. Tomorrow or next week you could all be friends again and this will all be in the past.
Today was a rough day. Today she just needed to breakdown and put herself back together again. Today she just cried. Today I held her and listened and helped her however I could. Today I understood this was so much more than just about valentines. She is just like me. I’ve been there. It builds and builds until something small finally sends you over the edge. Today she needed this so that tomorrow she can be a little better. Tomorrow she will be a little braver. Tomorrow she will be a little stronger. Sometimes it’s not about the little things that break you, it’s all the little things that pile up until you can’t take it anymore.
*Indicate names have been changed to protect their privacy.