Having a son is awesome. They make life scary with their dangerous daredevil ways. Always climbing on stuff and jumping off things. They make life fun with their crazy nerf wars. Running through the house shooting and hiding everywhere. They make life interesting with their wild imagination. Creating complex backstories to every game they play. They show you what love is with all their hugs and kisses. They bring out the child in you in such a way nothing and no one else can. There’s something about the way they look up at you and all you see is pure love. I’m sure all first borns do all this, but for me that was my son.
My son came into my life when I wasn’t ready and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted kids. I was still a child myself and now I was responsible for this precious bald baby boy. He needed me to be the best mom I could be. He depended on me to love and care for him with everything I had and to the best of my abilities. My life changed the day he was born. For the first time I knew what love was. I knew I would do everything to protect, love, and nurture this precious boy. I knew he’d grow up and be the smartest, most handsome, talented man. What I didn’t know was that I just gave birth to my best friend.
We did all the usual mom and son things. We played with cars, built snowmen, played with legos, dressed up as superheroes, colored together, and played catch. Whatever he wanted to do, we did. We got our faces painted, went on field trips, rode the rides at the fair. There never was and never will be anything I wouldn’t do for my son. We formed a bond and friendship that will last a lifetime. I taught him so much – how to ride a bike, write his name, color in the lines, tie his shoes, brush his teeth, cook food in the microwave and on the stove, how to make friends, deal with bullies, and so much more. He taught me so much too – how to love, the importance of patience, why I wanted to work so hard for everything, how to enjoy the little things in life, the power of a smile, and what it means to have a son. He gave me a reason to live and be happy.
My son is my best friend, but I’m a parent first. Yes I believe you can be a friend and a parent to your kid. There’s a time and a place for both and setting clear boundaries is important. It’s important to play both parts in order to keep honest communication open. I’m a parent whenever he needs a parent and I’m a friend whenever he needs a friend. We both know where the boundaries are and we never cross them. The older he gets, the more that changes. I want him to come to me if he’s in a bad situation and know I will come get him. No questions asked and no punishment because he did the right thing coming to me.
As a parent your kids needs change as they grow. What they need from you and what you need from them are constantly changing. The older my son gets, the more our friendship grows. My son is my best friend. He’s the person that makes me laugh the hardest. The person that understands the weirdest parts of me and accepts me for who I am. He’s the person that has the best parts of me and always call me out on my crap. Sure I’m the embarrassing parent, but there’s never been a time he won’t call me if he needs me. Our friendship and bond started from day one and continues to get stronger. I would never change a thing.