My child’s weight isn’t your concern, your business, or have anything to do with you, so stop acting like it does. We see your stares, hear your whispers, and we’re tired of it. It’s time I speak out against it.
My daughter is a beautiful, talented, smart, crazy, loving little girl. She has a heart of gold and a smile that can brighten any room. Unfortunately though, that’s not the first thing anyone notices. Our story first began around age 5 when my daughter started to put on a little extra weight. It wasn’t a concern then as she was still within perfect height and weight ranges. When she was 6, we were sent to a nutritionist. The nutritionist told us to continue doing what we were doing, but add in smoothies with greens (kale, spinach, etc) and give her home lunches, rather than school lunches. We made these changes and her weight stayed the same. She never really ate like crap. She’s your average kid. Loves her fruit, veggies not so much, but we always push her to try them.
There’s been many “WTF” moments where I can’t believe what just happened. Whenever I tell someone, I wish I was lying. Sadly, I’m not. One day after a 3 mile hike in the summer I treated the kids to frozen yogurt. When we went to pay the cashier said, “It doesn’t look like she needs any.” I heard it, my son heard it, but luckily my daughter didn’t. Another time I posted a picture of her breakfast – vanilla yogurt with fresh fruit, granola, and almonds. I was met with, “Why would you give her that? Do you have any idea how much sugar is in all that?” This year her PE teacher called her out in front of the whole class because she couldn’t do situps. She was so embarrassed and came home crying. I could go on and on about the crazy unbelievable moments like these.
Of course there’s times where I’m the asshole in the situation. I get very defensive, wouldn’t anyone? One year at the Strawberry Festival, a local fair that comes around every June. There was a couple teenage girls in line behind us and I saw them staring at her. I turned to give them a dirty look when they said, “She’s so cute. I love her bow.” Another time while grocery shopping a mom and daughter were whispering and looking our way. We were the only other people in the aisle. Turns out my daughter dropped her bracelet and they just wanted to make sure she got it back. Can you blame me? Society has made me defensive of everyone that even looks our way. I hate it. I hate having to feel like an all out brawl is about to break out because people are so rude and can’t mind their own business.
My daughters weight is something we’re always working on. Always hiking, biking, going to the park, doing yoga, running. Always drinking water, pushing fruits and veggies, restricting unhealthy foods. But all anyone ever sees is a heavier child. She’s healthy. She’s happy. You don’t know the struggles and battles faced everyday. You only see a photo posted of her eating ice cream and assume that’s all she ever eats. Should I post a pic of her eating veggies? Would that help you not criticize us? Would that help you realize she eats real food too?
How sad of a world we live in when someone can’t post a picture of their child enjoying ice cream without fear of being shamed. I feel like she can’t even enjoy cake on her birthday without someone coming out of the woodwork with their negative bullshit. Do you have any idea how physically and mentally exhausting that is? How much stress and anxiety that causes? No you don’t. You know nothing about the battles she faces or I face as a mother. So back the hell up and mind your own damn business. You know absolutely nothing other than your own assumptions made up by your tiny mind. My child’s weight isn’t and never will be your concern. Let her be a child. And next time acknowledge her bright, bubbly personality. Or her beautiful smile. Or her awesome dance skills. Or her loving heart. Notice anything but her weight and stop treating her like all she is is her weight. She’s so, so much more than that. Lastly if you have nothing nice to say or don’t like seeing it, then don’t. JUST DON’T.